Return to Planet Wannaweep
by toby7400
Summary: Years ago, Ron barely escaped the horrors of Planet Wannaweep with his life. Now, with numerous parties vying for control, he's ordered to go back. Can he survive a second time?


Return to Planet Wannaweep

Part 1; Converging

Colonel Ron Stoppable of the 14th Middle-world Imperial Guard, known as "The Mole-rats", sat in his quarters aboard the transport _Bueno Nacho_, famous for it's mess hall. The week before, the Mole-rats had been in the Cuddle System, fighting Hive Mother DNAmy and her fluffy but vicious tyranids. The young colonel was unorthodox in the extreme, from his fighting style to his leadership, but he was a good commander, so General Senior and Commissar Ned turned a blind eye to most of his eccentricities.

Ron was discussing the finer points of the Naco with his faithful sanctioned psyker and best friend, Rufus, when his aid, Private Tara entered. "Excuse me, colonel but the general and commissar want to talk to you." she said.

The colonel's eyes widened, "What?! What'd I do?"

Tara shrugged, "They just said to come to their offices, the commissar first."

Ron gave a resigned sigh, "Okay, come on buddy, let's see what this is about."

"Mmm hmm." The stunted, bald, bucktoothed psyker nodded, falling into step behind his old friend. Ron and Rufus had grown up together on Middle-world, long before Rufus' powers were discovered. He was very powerful and, as such, would have been executed if not for Inquisitor Possible's intervention. Ron was certain Kim had also pulled some strings to get Rufus assigned to his command squad. Rufus was sometimes called "the colonel's pet", but no one doubted his worth.

Ron, Rufus, and Tara preceded to Commissar Ned's office. They entered and Ron greeted Ned, "Morning sir, or, ah commissar." Where commissars fell in the chain of command was something of a grey area. Consequently, Ron and Ned sometimes disagreed on which outranked the other.

"Colonel, could we talk alone?" Ned asked, eyeing Tara and Rufus. Ron's friends saw themselves out and Ned continued as Ron took his seat, "It's been brought to my attention that you've been using some unorthodox methods to keep moral high. Including, but not limited to, 'Karaoke Night', a suggestion box and 'Casual Fridays'."

"Well that's not against the rules, is it?" Ron honestly didn't know, Imperial Regulations were numerous, complicated and often contradictory.

"Strictly speaking, no, but this is the Imperial Guard. We lead with terror; last week, I executed a guy because he farted during a promotion ceremony. He was the guy getting promoted!"

"Well, I think its like the Catachans say, 'you catch more daemon flies with sugar then you do with salt'." Ron said

"Yeah, the point is just try to bit more…normal, okay?" said Ned

"Sorry, Commissar. 'Never be normal'; Stoppable family motto." Ned pinched the bridge of his nose.

----------

Brother-Captain Barkin of the Mad Dogs Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, or Space Marines, stood before his company. Barkin had been ordered to respond to a distress call and had gathered his company for a briefing. He stood stiffly at attention and spoke "Brothers, the world of Wannaweep has fallen under attack by the vile orks and Ruinous Powers. Its our job smite every one of the bastards. We'll arrive in a week so I want all of you ready. I exact you to live up to our chapters reputation."

"Mad Dogs rule!" shouted Brother-Sergeant Brick. The sergeant definitly wasn't the smartest brother, but he was a great warrior none the less. His comment brought a great deal of other cheers from the company in general and Brick's Terminator squad in particular. The cheering came to an abrupt holt when Barkin Fire two bolt rounds into the ceiling.

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Having concluded his meeting with Commissar Ned, Ron and his command squad proceeded to General Senior's office, with the commissar in tow. Upon entering, Ron found the affluent General sitting at his desk, his aid, and son, Major Senior stood at his side, looking like he'd rather be somewhere else. General Senior greeted Ron cordially, "Ah, colonel. Have a seat, I have new orders for you."

"Already? It's only been a week since we drove off DNAmy." Ron said

"Those tyranids were deceptively cute." Junior commented.

"True, but I feel the Mole-rats would be best for this mission. There is a planet only a week's warp travel from here, under siege by Chaos and Orks. Your records say you fought there once before when you were still new to the Guard, so I felt you'd be best for the job." Senior explained.

"Oh, okay." Ron conceded, "What planet is it, anyway? Upper-world, or Murderia, maybe?"

"Planet Wannaweep." General Senior said simply.

Ron's eyes bulged in shock and Rufus mumbled fearfully, "WHAT!? No, I can't go back to Planet Wannaweep! I swore to the Emperor I'd never go back to that deathtrap!" The colonel yelled indignity.

"You don't really have a choice in the matter, colonel." the general said simply, Ned reached for his Laspistol.

"What's wrong with Planet Wannaweep?" Tara asked curiously.

"It is the single most terrifying, dangerous, Emperor forsaken place in the entire galaxy! I barely survived my last campaign there!" Ron said fearfully

"But you did survive," General Senior pointed out, "I'm afraid my mind is made up, Colonel. You leave immediately."

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Inquisitor Kim Possible sat in her room, having finally found a way to keep her apprentice, and cousin, busy for a few hours. Joss would make a great inquisitor one day, but her admiration could get tiring. Taking a breath, Kim kicked back on her bed for some much deserved downtime. She had, after all, banished a Daemon Prince the night before.

This down time was cut short by the familiar four toned jingle of her Kimmunicator. With a resigned sigh, Kim reached for her gadget and was greeted by the familiar face of Techpriest Wade Load.

Kim often wondered if she should thank the Emperor or the Omnissiah for sending her Wade. The young techpriest could do alone what usually took an entire retinue, and faster. The young inquisitor smiled and greeted her friend, "What's the stitch, Wade?"

"I just got contacted by Cannoness Director." Wade answered

"From the Order of Justice?" Kim asked excitedly. The Order of Justice was one of the most well respected in the Adeptus Sororitas. Cannoness Director, whose eye had been ripped out by her Chaos Lord brother, was a much revered figure in the Imperium.

"The same, I'll punch you through." Wade's augmentic hands went to work faster then flesh ones would have been capable of and quickly his image was replaced by that of Cannoness Director, her robotic eye reflecting the light.

"Greeting's Inquisitor Possible, I'd like to ask for you help." the Cannoness said evenly.

"It'd be an honor." Kim smiled

"A planet on the fringes of the Emperor's domain, known as 'Wannaweep', has been set upon by the forces of Chaos. We're certain that each of the four Ruinous Powers has a representative on this world."

Kim gasped, "You think it's a Dark Crusade?"

"Actually, the heretics seem to be working _against_ each other." Director said, her contempt for the followers of Chaos clearly evident. "I'd like you to go to Wannaweep and put a stop to whatever their up to."

"You can count on me, Cannoness," Kim said confidently.

"Excellent!" Director said, quite pleased, "I'm sending a few members of my Order to help you. Confessor Do, and Celestian Superior Monique, who I believe you know. They'll meet you at the Planet's spaceport."

"I'll be there." she switched back to Wade and arranged transportation, then turned to her doorway. "You can come out now Joss, we have a mission." Kim's apprentice emerged from her hiding spot and rushed down the hall to get their equipment.

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The soldiers of the 25th Kasrkin Regiment, manning bolter and rocket turrets, and backed by Basilisk cannons, let loose murderous fire into the recklessly charging horde of orkz. As casualties mounted, moral began to brake. Many of the orkz began to flee and fearful shouts were heard from the ork warriors. "Lookit da size of dere gunz! We ain't got a chance!"

"We're all gonna die!"

"Time to oomie out ot 'ere!"

Suddenly, a series of massive explosions ripped through the Kasrkin trenches, destroying their turrets and most of the basilisks. The forward commander began to demand a report when a slender green figure in stylized green and black armor back flipped over a burning bolter turret and landed next to him. To his horror, the captain recognized her as Warboss Shego, known as "Bosslady" by her boyz.

The female Warboss rose to her feet, her trademark wrist mounted burnas already alight. Shego gabbed her arms to either side, incinerating several of the Kasrkins to her left and right. Other Cadian elites raised their Hellguns on Shego, but they were set upon her elite all female kommandoez, called 'Da Bad Gurlz'.

Shego jumped up onto the lip of the trench and called to her stunned warriors, "Oi! Quit your runnin'! You look like a buncha scared oomiez!" she shouted.

"You 'eard da Bosslady!" yelled Smashem, Boss of Shego's Nobz. He raised his Big Claw in the air and shouted "WAAAAAGH!". The other boyz joined in the war cry and charged, rushing into trenches.

An hour later, Shego stood in the burning ruins of the Kasrkin HQ, her victorious boyz celebrating all around her, and casually filed the claws attached to her gauntlets. Hearing Smashem and several other boyz cocking their Shootas, the Warboss looked over and noticed Drakken approaching. "Down, boyz." she said with a casual wave of her hand. The gathered Orkz reluctantly lowered their weapons.

Although a sorcerer of Tzeench, Drakken kept a company of the Khorne loving Blood Pact as his personal guard. His bodyguards traded nasty looks with Shego's boyz as Drakken spoke, "Good work, Shego. My plan is another step closer to fruition." Drakken congratulated. Shego rolled her eyes. "Come now, I've kept my word. You wanted a challenge; the Kasrkins are the best the Imperial Guard have to offer."

"The toughest grot is still just a grot." Shego said dismissively. Shego and Drakken often worked together. The Tzeench sorcerer was often in need of someone to fight his battles. However, Shego had been rather disappointed in the fights he'd provided of late.

"True, but I have it on reliable sources that the Space Marines _and_ Sisters of Battle are on their way." Drakken watched the interest grow in Shego's eyes before using his using his trump card, "As well as Inquisitor Possible."

"Pumpkin's comin' 'ere!?" Shego asked. Kim and Shego had faced each other in single combat many times. For a human, the young inquisitor was an able fighter. Shego smiled at the chance to face her favorite enemy. "Al'ight, sorcerer, I guess I can wait on smashin' you for a bit longer."


End file.
